I just re-read my first ever post, and it took me right back to the time I was writing it - late at night, awake in a heavy chemo/steroid induced haze whilst Nick and the girls slept. During treatment I kept my mind occupied by daydreaming. I’d dream of all the things we could do with our girls, places we could explore together and fun memories we would make. I hoped I’d have the chance to reciprocate all the kindness we’d received and give something back to the world. The past year has given me a deep appreciation for people, our planet and time.
Time is something I most definitely took as a given, despite knowing it wasn’t. I no longer live in years, I aim to live in the moment, day by day. Whilst I get it is sometimes important to plan, have a bit of foresight into the future, I for one, am finding that hard. I am just so happy to be here right now. I’m living, for the most part in the now. I handed my notice in at work and decided to spend the time with my girls. It wasn’t a straight forward decision. I enjoyed working, it’s rather handy to have money, the self-esteem that comes with a career is rewarding and my colleagues had become extended family. However, I did feel that I had baked my cakes and was paying someone else to eat them, which is silly as I really like eating those cakes. It was the right decision for me at this time.
I spent my summer living the world toddler style - blowing bubbles, watching Isobel take her first steps and quickly mastering the run, tending to the many subsequent bumps and scrapes, making daisy chains, travelling back and forth to the Motherland, refereeing sibling spats, eating icecream and having variable success potty training Evie. We’ve had the time of our lives. I am also pretty darn proud of myself, as with the help of a trainer courtesy of the Ulman Foundation, I can now run 5 miles. Run maybe a generous term as I keep getting over taken by runners who appear to be slower than me, not sure what’s happening there.
Nick and I got a weekend away and is impressed it only takes 2-3 glasses of wine before I hit my limit -- cheap and cheerful hey.
I’m enjoying these moments because I know how quickly my fortune could change and little things remind me of this frequently, something as inconspicuous as a tingle in my foot can send my mind into a state of fear. Fortunately my girls tend to snap me out of those moments fairly quickly with something of immediate concern, such as fishing duplo blocks out the loo before we have to call out a plumber again.
I’ve had the opportunity to speak at a few events with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) in preparation for their Light the Night Walks. It’s meant a lot to me and I always leave inspired by others and the work that LLS does to support blood cancer patients. One of the most moving occasions was during a presentation to one of Light the Night’s corporate sponsors, Allstate. There were around 50 employees gathered to find out more about the walk, work of LLS and help with the never-ending task of putting batteries in lanterns.
One Mom who works for Allstate stood up and shared her story, of her 7 year old son who was then 6 months into his chemotherapy treatment for Leukemia. She thanked LLS for providing age related teaching material to her son’s school to help his friends and fellow students understand why he had lost his hair and what he was facing. She said her son had been worried about what the other children would make of his hair loss, but in the end around 50 students shaved their hair to demonstrate their support for him. That story warmed my heart and I’m in awe of that beautiful strong mother, who so bravely stood up and shared her experience with us.
On October 25, I will be speaking at their Light the Night Walk in Glenview which I never would have envisaged one year ago, whilst I was in treatment. What a difference a year can make.
For anyone who'd like to support our teams fundraising efforts, any amount means the world to us and can be donated by clicking on the link below.
Light the Night Fundraising Page
Thanks friends, cheers to a happy weekend!