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Alone

10/10/2014

2 Comments

 
It’s 10.30pm and I’m waiting for my man to get back from his travels.  My Mum left today after a month at my side. I’ve loved every minute of it, watching the girls bonding with their Grandma, having chats about all manner of randomness and most importantly having her tell me it’s all going to be ok.  On saying goodbye, Evie looked at me and with concern and said ‘oh no, mummy tears’ followed by ripping two petals off from the remains of the flower pots and presenting them to me with a pat on the back, ‘you’re ok’ she said. Thank you my sweet girl.

I usually enjoy my own company; I can be quite the adept daydreamer. However since my cancer diagnosis I’ve avoided being alone if possible.  So much so that I was actually HAPPY my 2 year old chose not to nap today so I’d have company. Anyone with a toddler knows how absurd that it.

Being alone means my mind is free to wander. At which point I have that urge to do something naughty; open up my laptop, hesitantly click that innocent white glare of a web page that is google and begin feeding my wandering mind. Before you know it I’m gnawing my nails and purchasing frankincense or wheat grass juice and throwing a few baby toys in the basket for good measure. I suppose it could be a worse google habit but either way it’s not healthy for my mind at this moment in time.

My mind seems to wander more innocently when outside, so I spent this afternoon outside with the girls. We walked, played in the park and sat under the tree having pretend tea with a monkey puppet and Evie’s pet tangerine.  All was seemingly wonderful until I made the fatal error of peeling the pet tangerine. The lack of nap and mutilation of tangie meant for a sharp exit and resulted in both girls snoozing in the push chair. The most adorable sight ever! I ended up having a lovely long walk, devouring tangie (sorry Evie) and enjoying the autumn night.  Sarah 1, wandering mind 0.

My man is now home, so I’m no longer alone. 

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I broke them
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Evening sky and some baseball
2 Comments
Dad
10/10/2014 11:01:25 pm

Don't worry about being alone as people will will always be thinking of you and at the other end of the phone!
Looking forward to joining you for Christmas and seeing getting back to your usual good health after the chemo has finished. XX

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Leah link
10/13/2014 05:00:08 am

I. Hate. Google. The only thing to find on google is people talking about the worst thing that has happened. People that have perfectly fine "fill in the blank" don't rush to google forums to post about how perfect everything is.

I got yelled at (ok fine at least a stern talking to) by my doctor when I called with all the things I had found on google. They told me to please stay away from Dr. Google. Which is now how I refer to it.

And you aren't alone ever in "spirit" i don't think that's the right word, but friends and loved ones are thinking of you always.

I am home alone starting on Thursday. I would for sure be up for a drive to come visit some weekday with Rieger children in tow :).

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    Hello.

    My name is Sarah. I'm a Mummy to two scrummy girls, wife to one Scottish DIY enthusiast, writer, traveller, animal lover, and cake baker who is also puddle jumping her way through a journey with hodgkin lymphoma.

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