I usually enjoy my own company; I can be quite the adept daydreamer. However since my cancer diagnosis I’ve avoided being alone if possible. So much so that I was actually HAPPY my 2 year old chose not to nap today so I’d have company. Anyone with a toddler knows how absurd that it.
Being alone means my mind is free to wander. At which point I have that urge to do something naughty; open up my laptop, hesitantly click that innocent white glare of a web page that is google and begin feeding my wandering mind. Before you know it I’m gnawing my nails and purchasing frankincense or wheat grass juice and throwing a few baby toys in the basket for good measure. I suppose it could be a worse google habit but either way it’s not healthy for my mind at this moment in time.
My mind seems to wander more innocently when outside, so I spent this afternoon outside with the girls. We walked, played in the park and sat under the tree having pretend tea with a monkey puppet and Evie’s pet tangerine. All was seemingly wonderful until I made the fatal error of peeling the pet tangerine. The lack of nap and mutilation of tangie meant for a sharp exit and resulted in both girls snoozing in the push chair. The most adorable sight ever! I ended up having a lovely long walk, devouring tangie (sorry Evie) and enjoying the autumn night. Sarah 1, wandering mind 0.
My man is now home, so I’m no longer alone.