2 days until I am due to speak at the Night the Light Walk in Glenview. Gulp. Here's hoping I manage not to cry, crack any nervous jokes or forget where I am. For the past year I have been using the Light the Night Walk as my goal. I mentioned in a previous post that I tend to work towards life events rather than dates or years now and this is one event that has meant a lot to me. I'm looking forward to seeing some of the friendly faces of those who have supported and inspired me throughout the past year. 

Thanks so very much too everyone who is supporting me and those who have very kindly donated. You are all amazing! 

Thanks to all the fab support I'm almost at my goal fundraising amount so if anyone has a penny or two to spare, please drop by my Leukemia & Lymphoma Society fundraising page. Plus you also get a pretty fab thank you card decorated by my talented 3 yr old, Evie! Fancy!

http://pages.lightthenight.org/il/WSuburbn15/smowatg6r

Puddles and Rainbows is now 1 year old!

I just re-read my first ever post, and it took me right back to the time I was writing it - late at night, awake in a heavy chemo/steroid induced haze whilst Nick and the girls slept.  During treatment I kept my mind occupied by daydreaming. I’d dream of all the things we could do with our girls, places we could explore together and fun memories we would make. I hoped I’d have the chance to reciprocate all the kindness we’d received and give something back to the world.  The past year has given me a deep appreciation for people, our planet and time.

Time is something I most definitely took as a given, despite knowing it wasn’t.  I no longer live in years, I aim to live in the moment, day by day. Whilst I get it is sometimes important to plan, have a bit of foresight into the future, I for one, am finding that hard. I am just so happy to be here right now. I’m living, for the most part in the now.  I handed my notice in at work and decided to spend the time with my girls.  It wasn’t a straight forward decision. I enjoyed working, it’s rather handy to have money, the self-esteem that comes with a career is rewarding and my colleagues had become extended family. However, I did feel that I had baked my cakes and was paying someone else to eat them, which is silly as I really like eating those cakes. It was the right decision for me at this time.

I spent my summer living the world toddler style - blowing bubbles, watching Isobel take her first steps and quickly mastering the run, tending to the many subsequent bumps and scrapes, making daisy chains, travelling back and forth to the Motherland, refereeing sibling spats, eating icecream and having variable success potty training Evie. We’ve had the time of our lives. I am also pretty darn proud of myself, as with the help of a trainer courtesy of the Ulman Foundation, I can now run 5 miles. Run maybe a generous term as I keep getting over taken by runners who appear to be slower than me, not sure what’s happening there.

Nick and I got a weekend away and is impressed it only takes 2-3 glasses of wine before I hit my limit -- cheap and cheerful hey.

I’m enjoying these moments because I know how quickly my fortune could change and little things remind me of this frequently, something as inconspicuous as a tingle in my foot can send my mind into a state of fear. Fortunately my girls tend to snap me out of those moments fairly quickly with something of immediate concern, such as fishing duplo blocks out the loo before we have to call out a plumber again.  

I’ve had the opportunity to speak at a few events with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) in preparation for their Light the Night Walks. It’s meant a lot to me and I always leave inspired by others and the work that LLS does to support blood cancer patients. One of the most moving occasions was during a presentation to one of Light the Night’s corporate sponsors, Allstate. There were around 50 employees gathered to find out more about the walk, work of LLS and help with the never-ending task of putting batteries in lanterns.
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One Mom who works for Allstate stood up and shared her story, of her 7 year old son who was then 6 months into his chemotherapy treatment for Leukemia. She thanked LLS for providing age related teaching material to her son’s school to help his friends and fellow students understand why he had lost his hair and what he was facing. She said her son had been worried about what the other children would make of his hair loss, but in the end around 50 students shaved their hair to demonstrate their support for him.  That story warmed my heart and I’m in awe of that beautiful strong mother, who so bravely stood up and shared her experience with us.

On October 25, I will be speaking at their Light the Night Walk in Glenview which I never would have envisaged one year ago, whilst I was in treatment. What a difference a year can make.

For anyone who'd like to support our teams fundraising efforts, any amount means the world to us and can be donated by clicking on the link below.

Light the Night Fundraising Page

Thanks friends, cheers to a happy weekend!

My little Evie is now three.

She was really excited about turning 3, her auto answer to age related questions for the past 3 months has been 'I be three' which sounds like 'I'll be free' in her gorgeous toddler talk.

I am in awe of her, she's become such a little person and I really rather like her. She's so thoughtful, shy, kind and occasionally goofy. I love our chats, seeing life through her eyes is refreshing and some would say, educational. She recently told me Daddy cannot breastfeed babies, when I asked her why not, she said,'his boobies are too hairy'. That makes sense. The other day she slunk into my lap, put both arms around my neck and patted my back, after the cuddle she looked at me and said, 'I'm so proud of you mummy...you go potty really well'. Yeah I do. She followed that on by adding I was her best friend.

Granted I share best friend status with Zola the Cat, Isobel and her blanket named 'Gaffe'. All the same, I will always treasure that moment and I am so unbelievable grateful I am getting to share these times together. You're my best friend too.

Happy 3rd Birthday Eves

My second post for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Illinois Chapter, titled 'Tips for the Cancer Caregiver'. 

https://llsil.wordpress.com/2015/08/06/tips-for-the-cancer-caregiver-by-sarah-mowat/

Lots of love to all the Cancer Caregivers out there!

This past week I was fortunate enough to spend time in Northern Michigan with some fantastic friends. On our last evening we sat by the lake in the dark, listening to the water lap up onto the beach and watching some distant fireworks across the bay.  We stared up at the stars. I feel doing this tends to open my thoughts up from my immediate reality, into a broader and more beautiful perspective. I really couldn't have wished to be in a more serene and happy place at that moment. I came across this this essay today by Oliver Sacks. It comforted me in a strange way and resonated with my recent experience on the beach so I thought I'd share it,

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/26/opinion/my-periodic-table.html?smid=tw-share&_r=0

I've had the opportunity to begin writing a blog series for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. The first post is about the creation of my support network so far from the motherland. Rather fittingly it was posted on June 24, the day I officially received the news that I am in remission!

Thanks to everyone who has sent me well wishes, positive vibes, prayers and funny notes. We are forever grateful. 

Take a peak at my first post here: It Takes More Than a Village

This is the post I've dreamed about writing since starting this blog and yet I'm sat here not sure how to convey in words just how elated I am right now. I'd really like to have been able to eloquently share some of this happiness with you, as a thank you for pulling me through those darker moments with your love and support. I'd like to give fellow cancer patients a good read, because this is the best bit.

But I am not feeling eloquent right now. What I am feeling is flipping fantastic. Like I'm walking on water. Actually - scratch that - dancing on water. 

Yesterday I got to hear my Oncologist tell me my PET/CT scan was completely clear - no cancer. NO CANCER. Maybe I should write that one more time only in bold text -- NO CANCER.

I don't think anything else I will write will top those two words right now so I will leave the reflective post for another time. A time when I'm not drinking champagne and dancing to this.

Thank you and Wahoooooo!

I'm generally very positive when reflecting on the past year - on all the amazing things that have happened alongside the crumbling diagnosis of cancer. It has been life changing -- the highs have been really high and the lows, pretty low. 

One of the highs stemmed from my involvement with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. This week just after I had a little wobbly moment, the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society announced on their blog page that I am one of their Honored Hero's for Chicagoland.

If feels pretty amazing and I'm not as wobbly anymore because it reminded me I am not in this alone. 

Check me out! The LLS Illinois Blog 

I'm shameless I know. So shameless, in fact that I will also leave a link to my Light the Night Walk fundraising page. For those who would like to, please donate to this amazing organization. With thanks to Doctors, Scientists, Fundraising and organizations like the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society I have hope that in our lifetimes we may actually see a cure for cancer. 

Rainbow Ramblers Fundraising Page 

Thank you, love your Shameless Honored Hero

Never underestimate the humble garage sale. Or more to the point, the people of the humble garage sale. There are some professionals at play with negotiating skills that could rival a city trader. Well maybe not, but they whirled me around their little fingers whilst filling their arms with baby slings, sewing machines and cookies. 

And thank goodness for the cookies along with our generous neighbors and friends. It appears that the chip in the armour of the garage sale professional is of the chocolate variety. 

The reason for our garage sale was to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) and kick off our fundraising activities for our Light the Night Walk. I mentioned in a soppy post last year about how amazing being a part of last year's Light the Night Walk was for me. Taking part in the walk last year, weary from the chemo was inspiring.  Being surrounded by all the people out there who support families like us boosted our spirits and made me feel a lot less lost in the world. This year, I am actually due to speak at the event, which I'm really excited about - hence the Garage sale fundraising activities. Even though there was a little more haggling than I anticipated, it was fun and we still raised $510.

Thanks to all our neighbors who donated lots of amazing items to sell and helped set up. It was great talking to everyone who came by, especially those who had also been affected by cancer in one way or another.

I was asked why I choose the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society as a cause, so I thought I would share. In addition to the support I have received, it's because of the research they fund. Dr. Carl June in the video below is an LLS funded researcher. For me, having seen people dying of HIV/Aids first hand during my Aid Worker days, it is somewhat awe-inspiring to see that the virus is being used by researchers to help the body kill cancer cells -- a chip in cancer's armour.

It has been a wild year, just like our little Isobel. 


She's wild in a beautifully wild kind of a way. She loves to be outside - as a newborn she would lay under the maple tree in our garden and babble up at the sun dappled leaves moving in the wind. Within a few months of her being here we had already named the tree 'Isobel's tree'. This evening, she sat for a full 45 mins having a complicated discussion with her tree, she called it Daddy at least 10 times (err..sorry Nick). When the wind blows in her face she gasps like I've never seen, then she looks at you, eyes alight and laughs. She's always mucky, she loves to be mucky, smooshing her little hands in the mud and padding herself down likes she's applying camouflage. And then there is her hair, that was wild from day one. No one believes I wasn't applying hairspray to that display, but I wasn't. It was just some sort of bittersweet harmony at play with our hair role reversal.


The first morning I spent with Isobel, I recall cradling her in my arms alone, marveling at her pink squidgy face and thinking that together we could do anything, so immensely happy.
She has that effect on people. I see it in Evie too; since Isobel's arrival, our shy sweetheart Evie has begun opening up - when we're out together the first thing she does is introduce Isobel. When I drop Evie into daycare with Isobel at my side, Evie proudly flaunts her sister to her classmates and interferes if any brave soul should put a toddler step too close, placing a protective hand on Isobel's shoulder. 


She doesn't know it yet, but Isobel has brought so much love and wonderfulness with her into the world. So much so that I can honestly say that this past year, having her here with our family, has made it the best year of my life. 

Happy Birthday to our loving little wild thing.

Here's Isobel in her natural environment...